Rites of Passage: Celebratory Vs. Difficult
Rites of Passage
We’ve been talking a lot about Rites of Passage in our recent e-blasts, the act of experiencing life events to encourage both children and adults to be engaged, positive, and active. Rites of passage help ground a person, a family, and a community in their collective life chronology.
Positive Rites of Passage
For example, we celebrated an exciting Rite of Passage in the life of our Founder and Chief Clinical Officer, Carol's, daughter, Grace! Grace had a once-in-a-lifetime experience being honored by South Walton High School for her accomplishments as a top varsity soccer player. Rites of passage remind children and teens that they have the support of their family, friends, and community, which can help prevent anxiety and depression; as we've been discussing, depression and suicide rates in children as young as 7 are on the rise, and our belief that both connection with community, and staying active, is crucial.
Grace practiced safely during quarantine but kept playing, both independently and with others, and despite breaking her arm in preseason game, requiring surgery, on Senior night, she scored the last goal of the game. She built these moments on ALL of the hard moments!
To further anchor her to her community and the community to her, her family created a “Memory Lane” of enlarged pics of her teammates, coaches, families and friends at soccer games dating back to when Grace and fellow senior Gwyn were 7.
Positive Rites of Passage That Can Cause Mixed Emotions
We also find ourselves at another milestone - the end of the school year - where our children are either graduating onto their next grade, or onto their college years. The emotions can be both exhilarating and overwhelming.
These life changes and milestones are impacted by not just celebrations, but also family dynamics, socializing with others (which can be fun for the extroverted but exhausting for the introverted), and can both invigorate and deplete our energy. We are celebrating our children's achivements and are filled with joy for them, and at the same time we are reminded of their ascent into adulthood, and their waning dependence on us. Our children may be feeling a whirlwind of emotion as well, as their hormones change, they experience changing social dynamics, peer pressure, and stepping out into the world for the first time: freedom versus trepidation.
We also realize in these times how grateful we are for our children's teachers and our learning-leaders, and what an impact they make on our children and communities. They too feel the emotions and overwhelm in these milestones. In fact, a recent article from the Epoch Times reads, "Back in February, the National Education Association (NEA) released a study conducted that revealed a startling 55 percent of teachers planned to leave their profession ahead of schedule...Many educators who have 25 years or more under their belt are opting to retire, but even less seasoned ones are walking away and choosing different career paths." Read Full Article Here in The Epoch Times
Brain Harmony is here as a resource for teachers, parents, and children.
First, we thank all of the teachers for everything they do.
Second, we want to provide a support system for all who are both celebrating and struggling during graduation. We want to help you find time and methods for self-care. We also want you to know what to do when you're overwhelmed, how the nervous system is involved, and how to reduce the intensity of brain stress.
We want you to celebrate your and your child's achievements, but also know you can take breaks and take care of yourself. It's okay to feel more than one emotion during Rites of Passage.
Once you learn more about vagal regulation and how it affects your ability to function both physically and emotionally, you are on your way to being more aware of your feelings and symptoms, and working with them to achieve a greater state of calm.
Difficult Rites of Passage
And at the other end of the spectrum, some Rites of Passage are much harder than others. For example, the inevitability of death within our family or community. In the last two years, when someone has passed away and we are forced to mourn through virtual events, or we’ve had to reschedule events for a later time due to inability to travel, has made a traumatic event even more difficult. However, as hard as these passages are, we can look at them from different points of view. What once was called a “funeral” is often now called a “celebration of life,” whereby we share stories about that person we’ve lost, come together and remember them for all they brought to our lives, how they inspired us, and how we will always remember them. Now with the advance of technology, we can play back videos of them or listen to them sing. We can still hear their voices and see their smiles.
We also know that in these more difficult Rites of Passage, such as caring for someone who is sick, we must also take care of ourselves. We recommend our blog “Caring for the Caregiver," as we know that rest, meditation, vagal regulation and sleep are crucial to avoid anxiety, depression, and many other conditions that sometimes accompany these events.
We also need to make sure our Nervous Systems feel safe, not only for ourselves but for our families in a time of high-stress or sadness. One of the most profound and heartwarming things that we see at Brain Harmony when using our protocols with families, is the shift in family dynamics when people's nervous systems feel safe together.
If you or a loved one are currently experiencing or have experienced Rites of Passage that have been very difficult for you, let us know. We are here to help you walk through them and the brain fog, anxiety and depression that may accompany them.
Rites of Passage are a fact of life, and we can bring beauty to each one through our loved ones, community, and taking care of ourselves and others.